literature

Speak now

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Synesthi's avatar
By
Published:
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Literature Text

it says
speak now or forever hold your
peace

i'd give anything
for some, a handful
in a pocket or a bottle
on a shelf

fact is that silence
is forgiveness and gelatin capsules
burst under heavy tongue and heavier
ribs

and forgiveness is surrender
fingers woven in messy hair and i
think if i can find all his fingertips
match nail to thumb, nail to pinky
i'll understand why he did it

and i'll forgive him,
or he'll forgive me

but

fact is he left my body
under the streetlight and i
was reborn a monster

monster left for dead,
monster sleeping with a belly
full of tylenol
monster in the dark

he comes for me and i wait
because he's the most consistent

three years running and three years
chasing and three years of holding
holding
holding

speak now or forever hold your peace,
comes to me like bubbles when
you're drowning

did i scream did i scream
or did i give him my peace
is that why
is that why, speak now

forever hold your piece,
hissing in the dark, if you take
from me then keep it,
hold it as it burns you

i hope he likes me
hope he likes me

he said he loves me, i want to find
him and ask
still, ask
promise

its like begging it's like
crying it's like speaking
but you'll never find peace

you'll find a dark hole
to climb in and all the time
to wait to die.

And may it be peaceful.
© 2018 - 2024 Synesthi
Comments5
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Nichrysalis's avatar
:tighthug: I feel badly that I am in a much different place than you on this subject, but your poetry is beautiful and introspective as always. Your wordplay is always a joy to read.