Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
About Deviant Member Synesthi19/Female/United States Group :iconspreading-awareness: Spreading-Awareness
Because the world needs to know.
Recent Activity
Deviant for 1 Year
Needs Premium Membership
Statistics 210 Deviations 949 Comments 7,543 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Favourites

Critiques

Poetry Book Scribble Icon OFFICIAL by DrippingWords

First off, this is my first critique, so the use of the stars was somewhat arbitrary. I'll try to be more specific in the body. Vision:...

Groups

At the time of my beginning this journal entry, I will be nineteen in five minutes.

I imagine the inside of my mind as a library, so all the different years of my life are books. Most of these books have been titled simply my age. They're just "4" or "7" or "17". But I've decided that my eighteenth year will get a title. You know what it's going to be?

"Eighteen: How to go to college, get a stalker, become depressed, get diagnosed with anxiety, stop sleeping for six days and lose your faith in people loving you in 365 days or less."

Because that's what my eighteenth year was. It was fear and it was change and it was depression. It was that horrifying depression-anxiety combination, the "my body won't move and my mind won't stop!" and the endless stream of medication that you take in like other people breathe. It's shaky hands and not eating or sleeping and the feeling that you're being played with, that someone's shredding your skin and making you into papier-mâché. 

And here I am. At the time of my typing this, I will be nineteen in sixty seconds.

What the hell am I doing still alive. Why am I expecting this next year to be any different.

I've hated being alive. Too depressed to live, too anxious to die. That's me.

And I just turned nineteen.

To another year. To mistakes. To goodbyes. To prescription medication bottles. To crying under my bed. 

To my slowly healing skin.

deviantID

Synesthi's Profile Picture
Synesthi
United States
I am a Synesthete (the term for someone who has synesthesia) and enjoy writing (prose and poetry), long-distance running, and playing music. My username is another (less formal) term for someone with synesthesia.
Interests

AdCast - Ads from the Community

×

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconnightshade-keyblade:
nightshade-keyblade Featured By Owner May 23, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:iconhappybirthdaysignplz:
Reply
:iconsynesthi:
Synesthi Featured By Owner May 23, 2014
Thanks!
Reply
:iconedges-to-everything:
Edges-to-Everything Featured By Owner May 23, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
A very Happy Birthday to you! :nod:

- Michael
Reply
:iconsynesthi:
Synesthi Featured By Owner May 23, 2014
Thanks!
Reply
:icon91816119:
91816119 Featured By Owner May 23, 2014   Writer
Happy birthday, sweetie! Have a fantastic day, and a fantastic year. :heart:

:cake:
Reply
:iconsynesthi:
Synesthi Featured By Owner May 23, 2014
Thanks!
Reply
:iconblackoutpoet:
blackoutpoet Featured By Owner May 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Meghan, I found your lines in GITM, and now I must admit I'm not crying but I'm not *not crying ... lol. I found it so touching what you wrote about my voice, and the reiterations that I don't need my eyes to heal, or create art, or live a fulfilling life, definitely link up with your opening and closing remarks in the recording you sent me. This means a lot ... thank you so much. :iconheartglompplz:
Reply
:iconsynesthi:
Synesthi Featured By Owner May 11, 2014
I'm glad. And you're so welcome.

:iconheartglompplz:
Reply
:iconedges-to-everything:
Edges-to-Everything Featured By Owner May 2, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hello! :handshake:

I'd love to get your feedback on the changes being made at Spreading-Awareness :nod: Thanks!

- Michael
Reply
:iconsynesthi:
Synesthi Featured By Owner May 3, 2014
Okay. I've been really busy, so I haven't being paying too much attention, but I'll take a look.
Reply
Add a Comment: